I'm Blushing: It's a Love Letter from a Publicist

Dear Publicist,

I received two back-to-back story pitches from you today via e-mail. I don't write articles on your expert's topic but random letters from people like you don't bother me -- I just delete those that don't scratch any of my itches.

This morning's missives from you are still in my inbox, though, because you have really confused me. You see...at first, I thought your letters were mass e-mailed -- most of the off-base letters I get from publicists are.

But both of yours are signed "XOXOX."

Hugs and kisses.

Have we met? Seriously. Have we met? I recognize your name because you're always pitching something or somebody to me, but damn, I don't even remember talking to you! Help me out here. We must be BFFs or closely related -- which one is it? It's got to be one or the other, right? Otherwise, why would you be so affectionate with me in your business correspondence?

Why can't I remember? We are so close, it seems...and yet so far!

Since we're so tight, I'm surprised you didn't send me anything for Christmas. You can make it up, though. My birthday is next month (you know the date, right?) and I really like Frango Mints.

XOXOXO
Sandy